Crutches, Part Deux

If you read my last article, I shared a process by which the “crutches” in our lives could be made known to us, with the intention of beginning to release that which no longer served us. To re-read that blog entry, click here.

As many of you know, “crutches” came up for me when I had a gym accident a few weeks ago which left me with a broken bone on my foot. In the first few days after the accident, I used crutches that I believed I could release very quickly. And I did. Just a few days with the crutches and I was ready to walk the world, albeit with a small limp and a special shoe. Healing was taking place, at an accelerated pace I might add.

Fast forward to just a few days ago when I was told that in reality, my fracture had gotten wider. It seems I should have used the crutches much longer than I had wanted to, or thought I did. And so now, I am on crutches once again.

This led me to realize that we have to be gentle with ourselves as we try to release things we believe no longer serve us. In the process of releasing, we may find that something new comes up and we move back into our old habits, into our old ways of reacting and responding to people or situations. Rather than feeling guilty or feeling lost, we can recognize that it was needed and that it helps creates the necessary drive within us to evolve.

It also reminds me that our work is to create the space for the process to take place rather than to make the process happen.

Part of creating that space involves becoming more open to seeing how the “crutches” are showing up in our lives and how they create things we no longer want in our lives. This can be helped by bringing a higher level of accountability into our lives.

A few ways to develop accountability are:

  • Journal in the third person about situations when you have acted out of your “crutches.” Doing it in the third person allows us to see a situation with a little more perspective. It also supports us to not have resentment or shame towards our past behavior.
  • Speak your “crutches” out-loud. Do it in front of a mirror or, better yet, talk to a friend or someone who you can invite to hold you accountable for when the old you shows up.
  • Give permission to people around you to hold you accountable. It is important to remember two things though at this step: 1. do it with someone who you will feel less inclined to take it personally, 2. Ask someone to do it that you feel is more inclined to be impartial and not become too critical. The point is to have help in keeping yourself accountable, not beating yourself up.
  • Pray. Affirm right-action taking place in your life.  Set prayerful intentions to embody a new way of being.
  • Act. If it feels like the expression of that which you had been working to express, celebrate yourself. If it doesn’t, celebrate yourself for becoming more aware, for taking a risk and trying it out, and begin the process again.

When giving birth to a new consciousness, it’s good to remind ourselves, “You’re doing great. Take a few deep breathes, and now push.”


Rev. Juan del Hierro
Associate Minister
Unity on the Bay